How honest are you?
You all will say things like..."I keep my word to others." When I say I'm going to be somewhere for someone, I'm there."
"I don't lie."
"I don't cheat."
But are you really?
I'm sorry to be asking this very deep and personal question because it might make you feel like you are in trouble; sitting in the principals office waiting for your sentence. :D
The truth is that I want you to take this question and this subject to heart. The photo above is someone taking time to literally ask some real personal hard questions.
Am I honest with myself first? When I say I am going to do something, do i do it for me first?
Let me give you an example.
Think about your commitment to go to the gym on a regular basis.
Think about your commitment to eat healthy or lose some weight or write in your journal or call a loved one.
How about your promise to stop gossiping or to be kind all of the time (Even when driving?)
I mean you get the picture. We are for the most part of the honesty factor in our lives... will must be even more diligent about being honest with ourselves than we are with others.
Stop and give yourself permission to examine this concept.
If you are unhappy or feeling unfulfilled then you absolutely need to reevaluate your life decisions.
Why are you in the job that you are in? Was it just the job you got right out of high school and it just kind of stuck?
Did you take an assessment test in high school that said you should be an architect and so you put in the time and effort to become an architect without taking the time to really examine your heart and your life's purpose?
Were you expected to be an attorney because all of your family members are attorneys and it was what was expected?
What about your relationships? Are you in a friendship where you give and the other takes and that's just how it is?
Are you afraid to change any relationship because you are afraid to be alone?
I could write pages and pages of scenarios but let me spend some quality time on why this is so important.
In my coaching, I am always reminding my clients that pleasing others is the fastest way to frustration and feeling depressed.
Living a life that on the outside looks perfect but feels wrong on the inside is an absolute lie and leads nowhere but to emptiness!
When we are true to ourselves, even if we have to stand alone, that is when we find our real people, our crowd, our tribe. Sometimes, family, is not blood but more heart to heart relations because we love one another without strings or expectations but just because we love each other.
You should never feel that you are only loved when you are good. Think about this. Do you do things for others because you feel like if you say no, you wont be loved?So you go about your life doing "good" things for others so that you feel loved?
Do your efforts have very little to do with your own desires and your own unique destiny and have everything to do with pleasing others? Now if you are doing good because you want to and it brings you joy, then you are closer than many to being on your true path. But examine your heart and your intentions.
Because if you are playing the imposter game and fooling yourself as well as everyone else, then you are deeply harming your integrity and inner compass.
The problem is that we have been taught for the most part to live as imposters for so long that we aren't connected to our real selves. Some of us have no idea who we really are.
We must become detectives in finding out why we are here on earth. What are your own unique beautiful gifts and how can you alter your life in such a way to develop your gifts and talents so that you can reach. your happiest self.
Please don't go out do crazy drastic things. The first effort is to get your loved ones involved in your detective work and inspire them to do the same.
Buy a journal, this one is the one I am using currently. I love how intuitive it is and its pretty. https://amzn.to/3JeZvPU
Begin keeping track of your desires. Keep track of moments in each day when you felt joy and contentment.
Be honest with yourself in your examination of each day.
Stand blameless daily. What I mean by this is to look back over your day and forgive yourself of the mistakes you made. If there is some restitution needed, take care of it right away. This is not a time to beat yourself up...this is a time to fix what might have been broken in your day and then move on to your next day.
Leave words like regret, guilt and shame and any other words that bring up a negative feeling, leave them behind you. They do not serve you. Fix what you can. If you need to say you're sorry or change your behavior do it now. Don't go into a new day with heavy chains of mistakes hanging around your neck.
Be honest with yourself and be humble. Forgive and move on.
If there is anything in your life that causes you remorse, face it. Shine a bright light on it. Fix what you can. Learn what you can. Take the lesson with you and throw the rest away and don't give it another thought. This alone will set you free and allow you to grow into the beautiful, confident balanced individual you strive to become.
Being dishonest or deceitful in any way is destructive from the inside out. Stay away from it like it is the plague. Because actually it is the plague for your spirit and your mental wellness.
You cannot change the past. So be honest. If you can change or make something better do it, NOW. Struggles are beautiful when we learn from them through honesty. Learn, grow and move forward.
In the blogs to come, I will speak more on the importance of honesty. If you would like to read more about my thoughts and lessons on honesty you can find my book Just Be Honest at this link. https://amzn.to/3DddO3x (this is san affiliate link and i may be compensated).
Honesty is a very important factor to achieving JOY, CONFIDENCE, BALANCE and SUCCESS.