Why am I so happy on some days and then on other days I struggle.
Updated: Jan 11
You may be asking yourself, what a bucket full of water has to do with being happy or sad?
I'm so glad you asked. :D
There is an old analogy that is just as relevant today as it was way back then.
We each have a bucket and we each have a dipper. Sometimes we have everyone else's dippers in our buckets and we become empty.
Moms, Dads, teachers, best friends...the list of those who can become empty goes on and on. Literally some of us go through seasons of having so many dippers dipping out of our buckets that we have a challenging time keeping our buckets full. Having a full bucket is essential for those who really need us but also to be there for ourselves.
Here are some things to ponder. Do we allow others to dip into our buckets that don't really need to dip into our buckets? I mean can they find the strength to dip into their own buckets. Are we enabling others such as bigger kids who can do more for themselves than we allow, spouses who get used to dipping instead of doing and giving, needy friends who only dip and never give back, bosses who are demanding and make it impossible to be great at your job and dip too often with no reward..
Your bucket is yours and you literally have to give others permission to dip. Do you have the inner strength to protect your bucket AND do you know how to keep that bucket of yours full of essential life giving ingredients such as wisdom and support and happiness AND LOVE?
Only you know YOU best. We must take notice of when we are filling up our buckets and what is the most effective way to do that. Paying attention to your moods and when you are the happiest will help you know how best to stay full.
Taking time to pamper yourself on the daily. Take a hot shower, enjoy a bubble bath, listen to a good uplifting positive book, listen to your own kind of music jam, wear your favorite color. I talk about all of these things in my course Just Be Happy found on my website at www.honestyacademy.com/courses
Serve others willingly because you want to, not because it is required. Pay it forward. Giving back to others is really the fastest way I have found to fill myself up.
A word of warning. There can be leaks in our buckets and we are usually the ones who are causing the leaks.
Shame, regret, blaming others, not letting go of past mistakes, letting grief turn into bitterness instead of compassion. staying in bad relationships, not standing up for yourself or those you love.
This is also a list that can go on and on. Be aware of those negative forces in your life. Stop guilt. Stop judgement of yourself and others. Stop ANYTHING that is negative.
When I was a little girl my mom taught me a very special song and little did she know that it would become sort of a motto in my life. The song goes like this....
"You've got to accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, latch on to the affirmative and don't mess with Mr. In Between.
Quite literally, if we were to follow this advice we would be in a much better space mentally.
Accentuate the positive in your life. Look for it. Expect it. Make the positive in your life what you focus on.
Eliminate the Negative in your life. ELIMINATE IT. Don't listen to it. Cut it out of your existence. Be very careful not to have negative self talk and DO NOT gossip or say anything derogatory about anyone else.
Latch on to the affirmative. Affirmative means yes. Have a yes day with your kids. Great movie by the way. Have a yes day with yourself. The things that you keep putting off just may be the very things that unlock something great within you. Just do it and enjoy the process. I didn't say....That yes is allowed for everyone...Some of us say Yes too much to the wrong things and that brings me to the last point.
Don't mess with Mr. In Between. Don't sit the fence. If you don't want to go to the party don't say you will, knowing you have no intention of showing up. Thats just bad character. If you don't want to go, say no. Stop giving off mixed messages. Because it will catch up to you.
Make it your priority every single day to be happy. Be ready to face the day with a full bucket. It is the daily effort that will pay off big time in the long run.
Happiness is a choice.